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Don't Tell Me To Calm Down.

by Kate

If there’s one thing I hate the most is when someone tells me to calm down. It makes we want to lash out and to be honest when you’re stressed, lashing out comes easily. This is not good.


I'm not sure why people tell you to calm down, it's as if they think you want to be stressed and so are deliberately acting out. I want to shout "Yes I would calm down if I could, do you think I Like being stressed out?"

In fact telling someone to calm down will simply stress them even more and so please if you're one of those people who tell others to calm down, please don't, you’re not helping at all.

So what should you do when you see someone who is anxious or stressed out?

Well it all depends on the situation, but I find these techniques have helped in the past.


1. Take the person out of the situation, i.e. out of the room, the building etc. Removing the person from the situation can help them to start to calm down on their own.

2. Talk to them about something else or make a comment about how nice they look etc. this may sound odd but it sort of works by shocking the person, you are asking them a question which takes their mind off their current thought pattern.

3. In extreme cases you can try to get the person to do some breathing exercises with you. By doing them together the other person will feel reassured and less silly. Breathing exercises can quickly help the heart rate to slow and reduce the anxiety feelings.

4. Talking things through with people can often help them to see the situation which is making them feel stressed seem not so bad after all. Sometimes some one else’s perspective can help change the way you see things.

So next time you see someone in distress or anxious whatever you do don't tell them to calm down, but help them to calm down instead.

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