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At what point do you throw in the towel?

by Xx

Boredom, bullied, victimised, who knows? I have been in the same situation for 4 years. I will not count the first year because I was learning the industry..

I was hired as a PA but in all honesty I do not believe this guy ever needed a PA. The work from the beginning was unnecessary busy work. Required none of the skills I have he said was necessary. I'm paid well, treated politely as long as I sit outside his office like a jewel in his crown. There is a constant fear of redundancy because it is so obvious this position is a perk for him.

.. I've spoken to my boss on so many occasions and brought him so many ideas of things I could do to add value to the business. He is very polite but he refuses to acknowledge the benefit of anything I suggest, in spite of the suggestions being recognised and endorsed in the business elsewhere. He says i am excellent at my job but will not consider investing in me to move on but does not justify his lack of commitment in me. He uses delay tactics to buy time before disappointing me with broken promises of projects or courses or meaningful work. In short he is a poor leader at the top of a very large company. I was one of 5 people identified (by another directorate) in a business of 6000 people to be involved in a culture change programme and he has done everything to sabotage this opportunity. He lost his battle and I have succeeded 2 years with my contribution in the culture programme, whilst battling him the entire time, but it has had a devastating affect on my health. The stress of his psychological sabbatoge games over the past two years has destroyed me to the point where I've tied nooses, luckily I do not have the courage to do this to my family.

Today it got worse. He now monitors my emails! I suspect because everyone has found out what he has been doing. He is building a case of gross misconduct against me. He is so senior he will find a way to make it stick. And I'm certain HR will help him.

I'm not sure if this is bullying, victimisation, harassment or just a poor culture in his directorate?

Yesterday I sobbed at my desk all day long. I'm so upset by him all the time, I fall to pieces when he is in the office for more than a day. I'm a confident person so the way I'm being treated just makes me dig my heels in, then I'm ashamed of my own behaviour. Why should I leave a brilliant company because of his unacceptable behaviour? All of this started because I want to be busy with value adding things that contribute to the success of him, his department and the wider business, whilst using all of my skills? You would think they would be lapping that enthusiasm and drive up?
I'm literally making myself crazy. Btw can't leave I'm financially trapped. That would be the easy answer.
There are so many witnesses to these events but everyone will run scared when he builds his case because he is untouchable, and they don't want to limit their own careers.

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Jan 19, 2015
Thank you for sharing - a quick response
by: Jaye

Response from the team at Stress Relief WS

Thank you for sharing your story. It definitely sounds like you need some stress relief.

My quick answer would be:

1. Can you take a little time off? Even a few days or a week. If you are at the point of tears then a few days away can at least help to refresh your mind a little. I can not say I have been through what you have but I have been to the point where I was in tears and I took some time off to at least unwind.

2. Can you transfer positions within this company? You mentioned you cannot quit and also mentioned it is a large company. Maybe you could look at working for a different manager. He may still try to sabotage your reputation but if you can get under a different leader before he succeeds then you may have praises from the new leader to counteract.

I will think about your situation a little more and see what I can do to help.


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